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School, exams, random stuff

Next week is the start of the rest of my exams, and only mother tongue and English is over. No make it the day after tomorrow. The day after tomorrow is the start of my exams, sounds more scary than saying next week, right? Just like prices, apparently salespeople think that $69.99 makes a whole lot of difference from $70. That tiny one cent zzz.

Anyways the first exam day is math paper one and literature. I'm fine with literature, just my math sucks like hell. I fail(ed) almost all existing math tests. Ever since primary four, when I discovered the wonderful world wide web. I mean I did use the computer, for playhouse disney aka Disney junior and clubpenguin.

I had Facebook too, but I was only there for pet society and restaurant city. I don't know how I liked pet society, but restaurant city just had me addicted for this cute song they played all the time.

Arrr.. Yes I was failing math so badly since primary four, but im just gonna say that I have always passed my English with flying colours xD
Okay maybe not ALWAYS but most of the time. My parents, or my mum, speak quite good English. When she is supposed to :P

My parent's are from penang, and their first language is actually hokkien/Malay idk. They are both fluent in those two languages. Apparently this girl thats typing on blogger mobile here, aka me, can quite understand both languages but cant speak it. Sad. Sad Raewen is sad. Hahaha.

Also I have/had a no-singlish speaking best friend, who's dad is a lawyer, and mum a hotel manager. So obviously you would expect their English to be so fluent, all dem pronunciations so motherfucking sharp. And it is.

Well she WAS my best friend until I didn't go to the affiliated school I was begged and supposed to. It was like near vivo city, and thats like more than an hour away. From my house the nearest mrt is at clementi, and it takes around 20-30 minutes there. Then from clementi to outram, and then harbourfront, and then the school, is just way too far. I would have to wake up soo damn early to take the bus and I'll be soo tired especially coming back. So sometimes I wonder why my friends even want to go there. Sure, they lower the aggregate to get in but don't you ever think that if many of the low aggregate people go in the school, won't it lower the school's academic reputation? Just think about it.

Isn't the distance a major problem? For all I know, my primary school is at upper bukit timah, and a lot of my schoolmates live near there. It's just soo inconvenient.

My aggregate was 194. It may not be good enough to get into prestigious schools or whatever, and I know I could have gotten into express for some schools. But I was worried I couldn't keep up, so I decided to go for the normal academic course. I've been staying in normal acad for 1 and a half years now, and I'm proud. I don't mind being in NA and I don't really care if people judge me for being in NA, because what's there to make fun of? Were all humans, just maybe some are smarter than others. Some are just late bloomers or slow learners. Everyone finds success in their lives, they just need to be patient enough.

I bet all of us have been made fun of once in their lives too. I have always been made fun of for being shorter than most people, being too skinny. Some even thought I was anorexic. I was very skinny last time and I started eating lots also since primary four when I became lazy. At that time all I wanted was to grow taller, gain some weight, and that was what I always wanted. And I GUESS I got my wish granted, but now kind of regret what I wanted and should have made a better decision back then. Now all I see are skinny girls everywhere, and I get really envious wishing I had that kind of body. Then when I start eating all my insecurities disappear.  And I couldn't care less about calories, fats, whatever. I HAVE to eat. Even when I'm not hungry I always have this urge to eat and eat and eat, all I want to do is eat.

I don't consider myself chubby, or skinny, but whenever I look at myself in the mirror I see this weird person, too skinny in the arms, flabby tummy, pudgy thighs, and my knee bone structure is just too wide. Just talking about my knees, today I was using my phone on my bed and my mum saw me and was like

"Jie your knee bone is very firm! I like it! At least your legs are long and not too skinny, not like those bony girls out there. " in a really surprised manner

And then she starts groping my knees.

That feeling where you know you have a flaw you hate, and someone just comes and 'compliments' it. You start to really doubt them, don't you?

I'm starting to think most of you who even read this that know me, will eventually start observing my knees. Please don't even talk about it.

But overall all those insecurities and flaws make who I am today, and all my meh :p

Muah :x


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