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HIIII EVERYONE!

Now is kind of the start of my June holidays 2015! :) It was actually supposed to start on friday but we had elearning and---someone decided to drag me to the school library to do it with her. HAHAAH partly was because i had to go to school to submit a file that i have never used or filed anything in before.

These five months have been great, but probably more stressful than last year and the year before. There was more homework assignments, but the one that took up most of my time was Guides. I'm not complaining, but since i stepped up as a PL, or rather a sec three, A LOT of the work load was pushed to us. Especially before the annual guides camp, i was the planner and there was a hella lot of planning and preparing to do. We practically had to plan EVERYTHING, timing, activities, dry/wet weather plans. I was so frustrated and didn't want to mess up during camp that i had a bad acne breakout, which was likely to be equivalent to the one i had when puberty started, lol.

There were also a heck ton of friendship problems. Remember how in Primary school, we were all immature as fuck? All those weird arguments where we would fight over silly things, and we would always say that we wouldn't want to be their friend anymore, and then you realise that you can't really live without them, and you make up again? Yeah, those type of friendship problems. When you entered secondary school, you expected all that immaturity to be gone huh?

Well, technically it is, but the friendship problems never really stopped.
One fine day, along came a stranger. A female. Round and baby-faced, bulging almond shaped eyes, with petite nose and mouth features. Quite attractive, in a sense. She looked normal, I decided to befriend her. First few days we got along quite well, she's really hyper, enthusiastic and humorous, i thought.
A year and a half later, all the problems started to fall in. She started being ridiculously annoying, rude, insensitive and caused a lot of problems in our little 'friendship circle' with three other people. It got so extreme to the point where i lashed out at her. I've never done that before, and i can honestly say that i have always been very gentle when it came to arguments. I would usually let the other party win while i would be able to get over it the day after, as i don't hold grudges. But i have never, ever seen a person with such a bad attitude before! She was so rude to a certain friend of mine that when he started hating her, she started complaining about how he's so mean to her when she's done nothing wrong.

You know the saying 'an eye for an eye makes the world go blind?' Yeah, that. I partly agree, but sometimes, life isn't so nice to us, till the point where we are the ones that receive the pain, and we start  standing up for ourselves. Until you get so used to 'standing up for yourself' that you change. You are the one that starts becoming insensitive and rude to the other party. That's how the world becomes blind.
You simply get used to it, and it become sort of a daily routine, to be insensitive and rude. Once you have that trait, it's going to be hard to take everything you said back, and that trait becomes a part of you.

It doesn't feel, 'you' though. You try desperately to change, to get that mean-ness out, but every single time you see that person, it comes back. It becomes almost impossible to change.


Sigh.

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