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What happens next?

If you're someone that tends to read articles or captions about knowing he's the one, or something about falling hopelessly in love with someone, then this is for you. Well, maybe.

Obviously he's not mine to lose, he's not even mine to love for fucks sake. (excuse my language)
It's not about the way he treats me that made me fall hopelessly in love with him, i mean of course that played a part, but i never felt much about that before.

But there was something that just made me lose control over my own life. It led me to feel overwhelmed with joy yet frustrated at the same time. 

It wasn't even much to begin with, but when he grabbed the back of my hand, time froze. Accidental or on purpose i don't even know, but i could feel everything. And I'm not trying to exaggerate anything here. Maybe everyone in class stopped talking or stopped moving. There was no movement. The background was blur, and all i could see was him and i; i mean my hand. I can still feel it, his fingernails slightly digging into the side of my left palm, and the way he held it. The warmth from his hand, it was all so mesmerising. 

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the first time someone held my hand. Be it a guy friend or someone i used to date, it was never the same. In fact, it was the first. The first and only time i have ever felt so...intimate, i don't even know how to describe it. To be honest, not even my first kiss felt like that.  And i can't believe it was just a touch of the hand. (lol it made me think of that thinking out loud song)

I didn't even feel jittery, i had no butterflies. In fact, everything was calm. I felt safe, relaxed, and especially being an extremely paranoid person, it was pretty much a good thing then.

It was even equivalent to someone warming your entire body, someone safeguarding your heart in their hands and treating it like it was the only priceless possession they have ever had. It was like a million good deeds that you did or received, all in one day. It feels that good. Trust me, once you've felt like that, it's so special that you only want to feel it once. Once only from one specific person.

It made my day, no it made my life. It was such a nice feeling that i can't seem to forget it. I don't even want to forget it.

Afterwards, it wasn't the same. I discovered some things i feel like i shouldn't have found out in the first place. I felt confused and disappointed, but what he did lifts my mood up again.

He was the cause of something i have never felt before, maybe that's why i don't want to get over him.


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