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A sunset

You, are

-like sparkling sapphire paint 

hydrating the dry earth

reflecting specks of purple

surrounded by a large array of beige and orange,

lost and barren lands.


You, are

everything i wanted

for some reason.

you aren't perfect,

I know that.


You make me turn beet red,

when i stare into your eyes,

the colour of intense espresso,

and somehow, i see

a hidden sunset

orange, red and blue

circling around a silhouette

that i once knew

and when i run my fingers through your tousled mane

and when you smile

-it makes everything that encompasses you

seem like one flat shade of grey

and you glow.


The control you hold in your right hand

is like spilling blood all over a counter top

but it makes you, you

and you are stunning

in every way possible.

You couldn't give me

all the attention in the world

but it felt like you gave me your all.


he made me feel right.

he told jokes,

about knowing how i should've never gotten close to him

but of course, they weren't true

and just when i had reached my zenith 

I put on my cashmere sweater,

he wrecked it, giving no thought at all

exposing a fierce blue flame

leaving traces of ruins everywhere 

and tried to 

"destroy me" 

-it could have, but it didn't.

maybe i want this


I closed the door on you

thought i didn't need you

anymore.


because, him.

he was there,

he made me feel right,

he was the one.

the warmth of his palm

had made mine numb, i had no control

our palms could fit perfectly

or so i thought.

Just when we could've

won the battle

he turned against me

oh, how it felt,

to finally have something to do

somewhere to go

his claws

tearing into a scar that was once an open, bleeding wound

that you didn't mean to cause

but i was alright

i was fond of the fight,

i suppose.


Two years passed,

I realised

It could never be about how

the sparks burned

or how

the fight could last

because it doesn't matter

anymore.

It left me dripping pools of ruby red

while i carelessly flowed my way to you

maybe i needed this.


But with him

all i see right now,

as i look into the windows

well,

i see-

a catastrophe

his words,

rancid.


It was always you,

the way your sunset gleamed into mine,

orange, red and blue

circling around a silhouette

that i once knew

like running through a dry desert

out of breath,

searching for some kind of hope to live

but maybe,

pain isn't all that bad.



♡♡♡

This was something i created two years ago, and It's been published on my blog a few times, but I kept reverting it back to a draft, because I could not stand exposing my feelings and vulnerability and also creating a path of major cringey-ness. It's all part of what mattered to me back then, hope you like it.


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