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The third blogoversary is in a few days now, and i honestly don't have much prepared to post because i'm just rotting at home. But since this is merely a life blog, i'm just gonna say some things to my future self.
1. Stop over reacting
2. Stop being so paranoid
3. You know that saying all this won't help with your paranoia, but just calm down.
4. Everything is gonna be fineeee

Anyway, i don't have much left. To be honest, i'm not sure if i've just forgotten that this MY blog and i can post anything i want, but i think i've gotten a little afraid of revealing my feelings. I have all these secrets and everything that are so hard to just express and even tiny things can be hidden through simple questions and i can't even tell people the reasons why i don't want to do this or i don't want to do that. I don't have anything to hide, honestly, but i'm just afraid that whatever i say will be used against me. This also made me feel really guilty and just awful, especially when people ask me "why" questions and i just find it so hard to answer because i'm so afraid. And there's also that tiny hesitation part and i feel like an asshole because i look like i don't trust anyone. Like, why don't i want to work with friends? I like to go solo, I'm afraid my friendship will be ruined, and i'm not ready to sacrifice it. I don't want to be exploited. Many reasons. But it just makes me seem selfish. I can't seem to answer so many questions because of so many reasons and it's bothering me as well, because i sound like SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

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